Contextual (Family) Therapy is one of the few therapies (there are hundreds) which is really a philosophy about individuals and families as opposed to a set of techniques. I was fortunate to spend many hours in Philadelphia with the originator of Contextual therapy - Dr. Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy, M.D. He was a venerable physician and scholar who wanted us to call him Ivan but that was too difficult when I was with him. He was always "Dr." and I refer to him now as Nagy (rhymes with the Indian name Raj).

I have found that several of the concepts in the theory have been particularly helpful in my work with individuals, couples and families. I explain these concepts to my clients and we use them to identify what is going on and how dysfunctional patterns of action can be changed.

Multi-directed partiality: This simply means that as a therapist I should not be impartial. It is far more helpful, said Nagy, if each of the clients feels that the therapist is on their side - not against the others - but actively working to understand everyone's point of view and their feelings. Rather than sit back and simply observe, I get involved with each member of a family or with both members of a couple. This helps me to really feel what it's like to be in that client's situation and it helps the client(s) to feel that I really understand their position.

Entitlement: Many of us grow up believing that because of some injustice which we have experienced we are, therefore, entitled to behave in a particular way towards others. For example, the abused child may grow up to believe that because they were abused they have a right to abuse others. Helping clients to examine this belief and to find other ways of relating to others can be very helpful.

Fairness: Every family in every culture has a notion of what fairness is. There may be differences across cultures or between families but each has an idea of what is fair and what is not. Frequently in marriages, the partners do not agree on what is fair - and they frequently do not realize that this is something which they did not choose themselves. Instead, it is a belief which they have learned in their family. Most of us are fiercely loyal to our own family's beliefs. My job as a therapist is to help people look at what they learned about fairness as a child, and to decide, in their adult life, what still "fits" for them and what may not. A couple or family can then work on ways of achieving a new balance among those involved.

Multi-generational legacy: Many North American peoples ask that we consider our actions in terms of how this will affect our descendents seven generations from now. Many families trace their origins back several generations and tell stories about family members which demonstrate how their current lives have been shaped by those who came before. Since I studied Gerontology I have been fascinated with how our past - or ancestors - still influence us. Sometimes it is very subtle but uncovering the important family myths and stories is a powerful way of helping people to explain their own behaviour. It gives them a sense of choice when they realize they have been behaving as they were programmed by their legacy. It can be very empowering.